


Welcome Home: A Secret Sex Club Story

by QueenThayet



Series: The Secret Sex Club [6]
Category: Inception (2010), next big thing
Genre: Banter, Fluff, In-Universe RPF, M/M, Next Big Thing HGTV Universe, Secret Sex Club, so meta it hurts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 22:42:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10545582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenThayet/pseuds/QueenThayet
Summary: In-Universe RPF for EGT's brilliant HGTV-verse Arthur and Eames. A continuation of the Secret Sex Club storyline. Eames comes home from a work trip, Arthur greets him at the airport.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [earlgreytea68](https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlgreytea68/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Dream Bigger](https://archiveofourown.org/works/9784928) by [earlgreytea68](https://archiveofourown.org/users/earlgreytea68/pseuds/earlgreytea68). 



> I am entirely ridiculous and I love this universe so much. My fan persona feels very strongly about armes5eva and has declared herself leader of their fanclub. This is SO MUCH FUN to write, especially as Dream Bigger is being written! Thank you to swtalmnd for coming up with the sex club problem. All thanks to EGT for letting me play in her sandbox.

A/N: Standard warning, this is RPF for Arthur and Eames of HGTV’s LioLi, NBT, and CH. OBVIOUSLY this is all made up and I don’t know any of them, and it is meant with the purist of intentions because #relationshipgoals. If you got here by Googling yourself and are uncomfortable reading made-up stories about yourself, the back button is at the top of your screen. Eames, as always, if you’re reading this I hope you enjoy it! 

A/N the second: Sorry I haven’t written anything in ages, things have been super busy and even reruns of NBT haven’t been inspiring me the way they usually do. How much am I looking forward to Coming Home? You have no idea. Even just the teasers are destroying me. Just when I was lost in the doldrums, our boys came through and had a gorgeous airport reunion. I HAD to write something after that! 

A/N the third: If you follow me on twitter (@QueenThayet99) you’ll know that I do not hold with ANY of those nasty and mean-spirited rumors that Arthur and Eames are only in a relationship when they’re being filmed. We know that they both have actual jobs, apart from being TV stars, which sometimes requires them to work separately. And we also know that Arthur especially is incredibly protective of their privacy. Neither of those things means that they don’t have a real relationship. Honestly, have you seen they way they look at each other? And re-watch NBT, seriously. You cannot fake that kind of chemistry. They clearly adore each other and are basically my definition of a happy relationship. Any comments suggesting otherwise will be deleted. #notroubleinparadise #armes5eva

Eames’ eyes lit up as he saw Arthur waiting for him at the airport baggage claim. He ran toward his partner and embraced him, lifting him up and spinning him around. 

“I missed you so much, darling!”

“I missed you too; it’s not the same without you here,” Arthur said, smiling widely enough that his dimples showed. 

Eames moved in and dropped kisses on his dimples as Arthur nuzzled against him. They spent a few moments drinking each other in, luxuriating in their closeness, before they walked off, hand in hand. 

“So how have things been here?” Eames asked. “I could tell on our last call that something was bothering you, but you didn’t say.” 

“It’s just something annoying at the club,” Arthur hedged, “I’ll tell you in the car.”

Once they reached the car and were safely away from any potential prying eyes and ears, Eames looked over at Arthur and motioned for him to continue. 

“Okay, what’s going on, darling?” Eames prodded. “I know you’ve been handling things since I’ve been gone, but I am co-owner. Are you overwhelmed with new applicants? Sebastian Stan finally agreed to join and is being ogled by the regulars? People not taking turns with the equipment?”

“Someone is taking handfuls of lube packets, only using a couple of them, and then just leaving the leftovers on the floor all covered in sticky fingerprints. It’s disgusting. And I’m saying this as the owner and operator of a sex club. And it’s wasteful, because they can’t be used again. And I can’t figure out who is doing it.”

“Well that’s simple enough, can’t you just pull their prints off of the soiled lube packets?” Eames said, as if it were an obvious solution. 

Arthur stared at Eames in horror. “First, ew. Ew ew ew. And second, you’ve been reading too much fanfiction and have apparently forgotten that I’m not actually a spy or in the CIA or whatever. I don’t know how to pull prints off of something. And I certainly don’t have any way of checking who they belong to.”

“Oh,” Eames looked a little disappointed. “I just assumed you had taken everyone’s prints when they signed up.”

“Why would I do that?” Arthur looked at Eames like he was crazy.

“For exactly this sort of situation!” Eames said, again, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 

“You’re insane,” Arthur said, his dimples emerging reluctantly. 

“Being away from you has sent me completely round the bend,” Eames agreed, as he smiled back at Arthur before dipping down to kiss him again. 

“Stark raving mad,” Arthur rejoined, grinning broadly. 

“Mmmm, I can be stark something,” Eames waggled his eyebrows suggestively at Arthur. 

“Hmmm, I suppose I should drive us home then,” Arthur said, “As I’d hate to have you arrested for indecent exposure as soon as you got home.” 

“Oh darling, my indecent... my indecent flex... damn, I can’t come up with a proper innuendo,” Eames’ sleazy tone morphed into frustration. 

“It’s okay, I hear it happens to lots of guys,” Arthur said faux comfortingly, covering his laughter. 

“Oh no! What if I’ve lost my ability to banter? How are we going to have a show without our banter?” Eames gasped. 

“I guess we’ll just have to make do with my feral sexuality,” Arthur deadpanned. 

“Oh we’ll be completely fine then. As long as we have a sufficient quantity of requisite climbing shots and you take off your cufflinks every now and again, our ratings will soar.” 

“That’s not the only thing that will be sore once I’m through with you,” Arthur said in his best facsimile of Eames’ sexy voice. 

“And now you’re doing the innuendo too, darling? What do you even need me for?” Eames teased. 

“Everything,” Arthur said, suddenly serious. 

“Of course, darling. And you have me. Always. Not to worry.” Eames stroked Arthur’s hair comfortingly. 

“Good,” said Arthur decisively. “Let’s go home then.”


End file.
